Life as it happens. Time as it passes.

Ironies 10

1. A mom was reprimanding her son for his addiction to Japanese anime shows. She went, “Akala mo ba intelligent yang mga shows na pinapanood mo? Anong klase ng nasyonalismo ang tinuturo niyan sayo? Pilipino kang naturingan tapos ang pinapanood mo mga palabas ng Hapon?”

Inagaw ng nanay yung remote control at nilipat sa Korea novela.

2. Ano nga ba ang tawag natin sa mga pulis? Law enforcers di ba?

Naalala ko lang kasi may kasabay akong pulis na hindi nagbayad ng ng pamasahe sa bus. Nung sinisingil na siya nung kunduktor, tsapa niya ang pinakita niya, sabay sabing “pulis ako, exempt ako sa bayad.”

Pagdating sa dulo, sabi nung katabi ko sa konduktor na singilin yung nagmamatapang na pulis. Sa pag-aakalang kaya niya lahat, pumunta ang nagmamatapang na pulis sa amin para kumprontahin yung katabi ko. Mabilis pa maglakad nung una eh. Nung medyo naaaninagan na yung mukha ng katabi ko, bumagal. Tapos nung mga anim na hakbang na ang layo sa katabi ko, sumaludo.

Hepe pala niya.

3. A socialite Atenean student once attended a language philosophy class. The professor of the class was talking about the beauty of the Filipino language as a medium for philosophical discussions. The socialite, assuming that she knows better, butted in. “Sir, I disagree with your point. I believe English is still the best conversing language. It is powerful, you know.”

And then the professor went, “Iha, p&t@ng !n# m*!”

The strong words seared throught the socialite students so hard, it sent her out of the room.

“See class? Makapangyarihan ang Filipino di ba?”

4. Today’s bad english story comes from one of the final papers of my students.

“Weather or not the adversities are hard, we nought ot to quit and says I quit.”

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