1. During a lunch fellowship with some friends, I overheard one of our neighbors commenting on his brother’s refusal to eat lechon baboy.
“Alam mo, basta’t nagsu-supplementary pills ka, safe ka na. Kahit lantakan mo ng lantakan yang lechon na yan, wala ka nang problema. Tingnan mo ko: pwede kong kainin lahat ng ma-sebong pagkain, basta’t naka-pills ako!”
I heard last week that neighbor had a major stroke. Na-high blood daw.
2. Two brothers were talking on the prospect of going to the Middle East to work as OFW’s:
“Alam mo, kuya, malaki ang kikitain mo sa pagtatrabaho sa Middle East! Malaki ang suweldo dun. May pensyon ka pa pag retiro mo. Makakapagpundar ka pa ng puhunan para sa negosyo mo pag-uwi mo dito. O! Napakaraming dahilan para mag-abroad, kuya! Di ka naman pamilyado. Bakit ba ayaw mong mag-abroad?”
“Walang beer dun!”
“Kalokohan nga yang Saudi na yan!”
3. We were comforting a lady friend over her recent break-up with her boyfriend for 7 years. We actually thought it was going to end that way, since they’ve been through those on-and-off stages of their relationship. The girl, for her part did all the best she could to save the relationship, but it just couldn’t be held together. She was even blaming herself for the entire tragedy. We tried to rationalize for her that it wasn’t her fault. But she insisted that it was her to blame. Finally, out of irritation, one of our friends blurted tactlessly.
“Alam mo, mas maigi pa ang mga nagsu-suicide kesa sayo eh!”
“Huh? Bakit naman?”
“Kasi sila, isang talon lang sa bangin patay na eh. Ikaw ang tibay mo. Inuunti mo sarili mo eh! Magpakamatay ka na lang kaya para tapos na yang paghihirap mo.”
“Ayoko nga! Mahal ko buhay ko no!”
“O yun naman pala eh! May pagpapahalaga ka naman pala sa sarili mo, bakit nagpipilit ka pa sa kanya?”
“Eh kasi… mahal ko siya eh…”
Haaay… minsan talaga nakakatanga ang pag-ibig.
4. Your dose of bad english for today:
A friend, listening to Air Supply’s “Making Love out of Nothing At All” dared to sing it in a videoke bar. When it was on the chorus, he sang it this way. Try it:
“…and I don’t know how you do it,
making love… hanap mo kong kalaro…
hanap mo kong kalaro…
hanap mo kong kalaro…