Life as it happens. Time as it passes.

Ironies 17

WORKERS2

1. How would you judge someone if he goes on to testify about himself by saying “To all of you listening, I am proud to say that I am a humble person…”?

2. Are zebras white with black stripes or black with white stripes?

3. The church at our community employed a bell ringer. His job was simple: to sound the bells of the church every 5 in the afternoon. In order not to miss time, he would pass by the watch repair shop half a block away from church on the way home so that tomorrow he would get to ring the bell on time. But, for the past few days, it seemed the bell ringer was ringing the bell either 5 minutes earlier or 5 minutes late.

He then passed by the watch repair shop to check on the time again. Confused, he asked the watch repairman about the time he was keeping in his shop.

“Actually, kapag PINATUNOG MO NA YUNG KAMPANA, TSAKA PA LANG AKO NAG-AADJUST NG ORAS DITO SA SHOP.”

4. A teacher once asked her students to submit a painting of a rooster for her art class. All except one student submitted their assignments. Being a tolerant teacher, she gave the student enough time to submit the homework. But the days turned to weeks, and the weeks turned to months, but the student still hasn’t submitted his work. Finally after three months, she furiously demanded from the student that he pass the drawing immediately or else he will fail the class. The student then pulled out a blank paper, a set of crayolas, and painted the rooster–in just five minutes!

Flustered and fuming already, the teacher asked the kid why did he not submit the homework that was due three months ago, when he could actually paint it in just 5 minutes. The witty kid said, “You see, ma’am it actually took me three months of PRACTICE before I could finally paint the rooster in just five minutes.”

Oo nga naman.

5. Your bad english this edition comes from a closing live report from the news desk:

“And that’s TODAY’S STORIES TODAY.”

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