May isang palaka na nagpahula ng kanyang kapalaran.
Manghuhula: Sa susunod na buwan ay makakakilala ka ng isang magandang dalaga na kikilalanin ka ng buong buo!
Palaka: Talaga? Wow naman! Prinsesa ba siya?
Manghuhula: Hinde. Estudyante ng BS Biology.
Finally, the drought away from home is over.
The San Antonio Spurs escaped with a win on the road over the Orlando Magic, 85-83, to finally snap a five-game losing skid outside of the AT&T Center.
It wasn’t an easy win, though, as it took five minutes extra to settle the matter. And it would have gone Orlando’s way, if not for J.J. Redick’s .5 second delay in getting the ball out of his hands and swishing the three at end of overtime.
Tony Parker scored 16 of his 25 points in the fourth quarter and the overtime period. He also dropped 9 dimes to help his team bounce back from a disappointing loss to Miami just last night. The Heat beat the Spurs 120-98, nullifying what began as a 17-point lead by the Spurs at one time, which could have gotten them their first win on the road. Nonetheless, San Antonio still keeps a good hold on top of the Western Conference standings with 10-5.
Dwight Howard scored 24 points and grabbed 25 rebounds, followed by Ryan Anderson’s 17 points and 11 rebounds. The Magic are now 10-and-4, with home and road records identical (5-2).
The Spurs host the Kings on Friday, before hitting the road again to face Houston. They then return on Monday to play the slumping New Orleans Hornets. The Magic on the other hand will face the LA Lakers on Friday, go to Boston on Monday, and the rising Indiana Pacers on Tuesday.
A patient went to her doctor for a follow-up check-up.
“So doc? Ano pong balita?” the patient asked.
“We’ll, I’ve got bad news and good news,” the doctor replied.
“What’s the bad news?” asked the sick lady.
“The bad news is your disease is deadly one. Sabi sa research, 9 out of 10 die because of this disease,” the doctor explained.
“HAAARGH?” exclaimed the patient. “Well… what’s the good news?”
“The good news is, the first nine patients I examined with this disease had all died. IKAW YUNG PANG-SAMPU! So that means HINDI KA MAMAMATAY!”
The following answers were given by various students from different schools when their graders were asked to give a word that starts with a letter they were assigned:
A: A-ight (as in the number);
C: C-ster (kapatid na babae);
E: E-nternet (the world wide web);
F: F-fective (that which works);
G: G-pney (the Filipino ride);
L: L-ephant (from the zoo);
M: M-ployee (the office slave);
N: N-velope (where letters are put);
Q: Q-cumber (the veggie);
R: R-wana (the big fish);
S: S-calator (the moving stairs);
X: X-pert (the master);
Y:Y-fe (the husband’s partner);
Tsk, tsk, tsk!
Despite the hype surrounding the Los Angeles Clippers since acquiring Chris Paul during the pre-season, they were really not the favorites coming into the opening of the 2012 season. Not even the two pre-season victories they had over their co-tenant Los Angeles Lakers were enough to dismiss the notion of cynicism against them. And that’s just normal, since the true test of their mettle comes when they finally face the giants on the court during the season.
After 9 games, they’re finally living up to the hype.
Just now the Clippers earned a 102-94 win over their co-tenants in Staples Center, with Chris Paul dropping 33 points on a 12-for-22 shooting, with three of them coming from the long distance area. Kobe Bryant scored for 42 points, the fourth night he’s been scoring 40+ points, but even that wasn’t enough to overtake the Clippers, who are now 6-3, goog enough for third in the standings, while the Lakers snap their five-game winning streak, earning a 9-5 win-loss card which puts them at 5th spot.
The other night, the Clippers beat the Miami Heat in overtime, 95-89, behind the performance of Paul’s 27 points, along with Blake Griffin and Chauncey Billups, who each scored 20. Their win over the defending Eastern Conference champions was the first true test of the Clippers’ credentials on paper. And then this, a win over the team that has made them for many years “the other LA team.” At least, for the time being, they’re showing the basketball world that they’re not just any other team that should be sidelined and dismissed.
Nonetheless, they still have a long way to go. This is just the Clippers’ second win over a top-contending win in any given conference. Their three previous losses have come from the hands of the Portland Trailblazers (105-97), Chicago Bulls (114-101), and their biggest loss so far, to the San Antonio Spurs (115-90), teams that are standing atop the list.
But one thing’s for sure: the Clippers are slowly finding their way up the ladder, among the great contenders of the West.
And, in the heart of their fans as well.
So this is how Vice Ganda’s style of sarcasm has gripped the country’s language culture:
I was once announcing, “OK, class. Tomorrow we will have a quiz.”
Someone asked, “Sir, magrereview po ba kami?”
I answered, “Hinde! Magpaparamihan lang tayo ng maling sagot niyo bukas!”
During dinner time, a yaya was instructed, “Yaya, pakikuha nga yung ice cream.”
The yaya asked, “Sa ref po ba?”
The irritated mother went, “Ay hindeeeeh! Sa microwave ‘teh, dinefrost ko!”
True story: a balding guy was buying shampoo for her wife.
I don’t know why, but the saleslady asked, “para sa inyo po sir?”
To which the guy answered, “Hindeeh, para sa ‘yo… huling gamit mo na ng shampoo ‘to, kasi kakalbuhin na rin kita.”
Believe it or not, this was one saleslady’s sales pitch at a cellphone store somewhere in the metropolis:
“Mura lang po dito! Bili na kayo ng CELLPHONE NA MOBILE!”
Tony Parker scored 12 of his 20 points in the fourth quarter to lead the San Antonio Spurs to a win over the Portland Trail Blazers, 99-83, earning them as well an 8-0 home record, their best start since 2007.
The Blazers had the lead entering into the fourth until Parker went to work, scoring 4-for-4 from the field and the charity line. He stole the ball twice and never committed a turnover. Tiago Splitter had 14 points courtesy of 5-for-5 from the field and 4-for-7 in the foul line. Tim Duncan and DeJuan Blair combined for 20 points and 20 rebounds to aid in the Spurs’ defensive end. In the end, San Antonio outscored Portland 34-18 in the final leg of the game.
The Trailblazers, on the other hand, weren’t as lucky as their main defensive big man Marcus Camby rolled his ankle during a tiff over the ball with Blair with four minutes left in the second quarter. Camby did not return to the game, and hinted that he might miss the next two to three games while the Blazers go on an eight-game road stretch starting with Houston tomorrow. LaMarcus Aldridge led Portland with 29 points, while Raymond Felton scored 13. Gerald Wallace and Wes Matthews each scored 12. Camby was the only Portland starter without a score.
Duncan was only seven points tonight on a 3-for-7 shooting. He is six points away from passing Gary Payton at 26th place in the all-time scoring list.
The Spurs are the only team in the Western Conference with a perfect record at home so far, but is also one of two teams in the West with a winless record on the road (along with Golden State). They play one more home game against the Phoenix Suns before the face the Miami Heat, who as of late has been beaten thrice. The win lifts San Antonio (8-4) back to third spot, just half a game behind Los Angeles and two games behind the West-leading OKC Thunder. Portland, on the other hand, drops to the fifth spot with a 7-4 card.
After losing to the Oklahoma City Thunder and the Milwaukee Bucks, the San Antonio Spurs got themselves out of the hole, exacted revenge against the Houston Rockets, and continued their winning streak at home with a 101-95 victory over their Texas rival.
The Spurs needed five more minutes to secure an unblemished record at home with 7-0. Offensively, Tony Parker took the lead with 28 points and 8 assists. On the other end of the floor, Tim Duncan came back to his typical, old defensive self, gathering 8 boards, swatting the ball twice and stealing it thrice, and still contributing 17 points to the Spurs’ winning cause. He also passed Larry Bird in the all-time scoring list after making a free-throw at the second half. He came into the game just 10 points shy of the former Boston Celtic legend’s record. Duncan’s role was most evident at overtime, with 1:18 remaining, where he blocked a shot which led to a fast break and a three-point dagger from Richard Jefferson, ultimately sealing the game for the Spurs.
The road, however, has not been very cooperating with San Antonio, as they have yet to win a game away from the AT&T Center. They still have the luxury of playing two more home games, against Portland on Friday and Phoenix on Sunday, just before they hit the road again and face the Miami Heat on Tuesday.
Already missing the services of injured Manu Ginobili, the Spurs lost the just-sizzling TJ Ford to a torn left hamstring during their loss to Milwaukee the other night. He, too, will be missing four to six weeks of action. The losses prompted coach Gregg Popovich to make some adjustments in his starting line-up, with Kawhi Leonard starting in place of Gary Neal, who goes back to bench duties. Coach Pop also recalled Corey Joseph and Malcolm Thomas from the D-League to expand further their thinning bench line-up.
Kyle Lowry led the Rockets with 22 points and 7 assists, while Luis Scola had 20 points and just 5 boards.
Having stayed in the number two spot for two weeks, the Spurs slid down the standings to number 4 with 7 wins and 4 losses. Houston, as of this moment is at the cellar of the standings in the West with 3-7.